Me, Her, the Boy and a Dog

The other day I was talking to a “real world” friend about a cool new Web site I discovered. Actually, I didn’t discover it, a “Twitter” friend did. I was asked by the real world friend, “How did you hear about the site?” I replied, “My friend on Twitter told me about it.” To which they responded, “Your friend … on … Twitter? Have you ever met this person or is this one of your cyber dork ‘friends’?” At first I was a little offended; I’m a geek, not a dork - geeks are smarter than dorks. Outside of that, I started thinking; with the advent and proliferation of social media like Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Plaxo, etc., what exactly is considered a “friend” these days?

What is a Friend?
Before social media, I had three general classifications of friends; friends, good friends, best friends. Friends were people whose company I enjoyed from time to time and would talk with. Good friends were people I sought out to do things with and were among the first people I’d call if I needed something. Best friends, as with most people, was a very private club. These are the people that you could call at 2 a.m., when the bars closed looking for a sober ride home and they’d come, no questions asked. And that was about it when it came to friends. I also had acquaintences and co-workers, but the former were a step below friends and the latter could sometimes be any level of friends. Today, I’m finding that my antiquated organizational system may need a face(book)lift.

Social Media Friends

The concept behind friendship is changing. I still have friends, good friends and best friends, but I also have “friends” on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, as well as VTHokiefans.com, TechHoops.com, VT.Fanfoc.us and Techsideline.com; all Virginia Tech sports sites. Most of my “friends” on Facebook and MySpace are people I have met at some point in my life. But some of my other “friends” I have only seen in pictures and “talked” with them online. I even have friends and family who are luddites and refuse to get involved with nefarious online social networking/media tools … something about the downfall of civilization and moral values. Whatever. Go back to reading your “newspaper.” I also have friends that I haven’t seen or spoken to in years, but when we do, pick up where we left off.

Well, My Friends…

My point is that the definition of a “friend” doesn’t have to be some predetermined, inflexible concept - it can be whatever is important to you. Friendship shouldn’t be restricted to someone else’s beliefs. If you consider someone in your life a friend, end of story. Let others think what they want. Just use your common sense and don’t let your online friends completely replace your human friends. I’m not a sociologist, but I would imagine that complete isolation isn’t a good thing. Think Laslow from the 1985 Val Kilmer film Real Genius. If you don’t get that reference and haven’t seen the movie, I might have to reconsider whether you are really my friend. :)