Me, Her, the Boy and a Dog

I had the most bizarre dream. OK, well, that might be a stretch because I have had a lot of bizarre dreams … which we don’t get into in this blog post. I’m far too sober to share that with you people.

I dreamt that I was driving in an old neighborhood that has actually appeared in many of my dreams, but is not one that I actually know of in real life. Suddenly, the cars in front of me were stopping and I heard gun fire coming from the distance. People started leaving their cars and running toward a wooded valley on our left.

The sound of the gun fire was getting closer, so I grabbed my cell phone and the military survival knife I keep in the car. But, as in a lot of dreams, an object changed and it was completely normal. In this dream, the knife suddenly became a sword akin to that used by ninjas. Totally. Freaking. Awesome.

I looked around and all of the people that fled their cars were now congregating at the low point of this mini ravine. Then, someone started screaming in horror. Looking up along the ridge of the hill we saw average-looking people carrying swords and guns - an odd combination for an assault. But, they looked possessed and pretty pissed off. It was clear their intention was to kill us all.

While the rest of the lambs about to be slaughtered screamed and cried, I tuck my sword behind my back and sprinted up the hill to meet one of the death dealers. I stopped short of a man wielding a sword. He cocked his head to one side and gave me a quizzical look, as if he were confused about being approached. It was clear he was just a normal person not acting of his own accord, so I tried to get him to snap out of it, but he did not respond.

Instead, he raised his sword above his head with both hands and lunged at me, bringing his weapon down toward my head as I leapt backward. His blow nearly hit its mark, but as I leapt back I unsheathed my sword and as his blade dropped, I delivered a fatal strike through his chest. As he fell, the next attacker in the woods rushed me, but my inner ninja kicked in and I made short work of him.

Two more attempted to avenge their zombie-like-colleagues’ untimely ends, but they clearly didn’t realize that you don’t mess with a ninja. Chumps. I admit I was getting a little winded from all of this zombie slaying, but thankfully, whatever power was being forced on these unwilling assassins was seemingly lifted as the remaining crew of would-be killers snapped out of it and appeard to just wake up from a deep sleep.

There was bright flash of light and everything went completely white. Then I woke up. The end. At no point did I feel this was a nightmare. Weird. Very weird.